Saturday, May 31, 2008

OK, so....

...I got the CT scan results Thursday afternoon. I had to absorb the results a bit before I posted them, because I was really shocked...the implant, according to the doctor's office, "looks fine" (message left on my voice mail). I was not in a position to have a good meltdown Thursday because I was with a lot of people when the call came...but Friday morning I made up for it. I had a royal fit and stayed in bed and sulked and cried and stormed and pouted for the entire morning. I was finally set firmly in place by a dear friend who's also a CI user that reminded me that I hear better with the one I have than some people do with two, and that a meltdown at this stage wasn't really warranted...that I still have the opportunity to talk with the surgeon to see if I have any options for dealing with the sensation in my ear and the sensations I feel with my processor. I have decided for now that I'm going to relax about this for a few days. I'm leaving for the HLAA convention in Reno/Lake Tahoe in a week and a half (Hooray!) and going to California for an Advanced Bionics production facility tour after that. I already had an appointment with Dr. Haynes the following week for a six-month post-op checkup (I almost wrote "postpartum", ha!) and I'll talk to him then and see what he says. I still can't shake the feeling that there's something wrong...it just doesn't feel right...but I can't do anything about it today, and I want to enjoy the next few days, not spend them all stressed out, so for now the whole project is on hold unless something comes up that necessitates checking into it sooner.
If it turns out that the implant is perfect in every way and perfectly positioned, that might point back to our original conclusion...that I was deafened too early and too long ago in that ear to get much benefit from a CI. Before I had the surgery, we went in the sound room and did all the standard tests and I felt the sounds then, rather than hearing them. I don't know what kind of wiring is in my head to produce that kind of sensation, but it's possible that the CI just can't overcome that. However, I still haven't had it explained to me why I feel something inside my ear. It feels like there is literally something in there, poking my eardrum, some days so bad that I feel it's going to come through. Some days it's just a mild annoyance and other days it's painful. And that's what I want to get to the bottom of...more than anything.
What I have with my second CI is more than I ever hoped for. If I have any complaints at all, it's that when I need a new map, like now, my music suffers a bit...but that's it. I am talking on the phone more easily and with far fewer errors now than ever before, and I hear conversations going on all around me...which I haven't ever heard before. The kids can sit next to me on the bed and talk and I don't have to watch their faces...I can listen to them all at once without having to turn to figure out who's talking and which lips to look at. Thursday I talked to two receptionists and the office manager at Vanderbilt (I talked to her twice) in four separate phone calls. I talked to a travel agent, my sister-in-law, and Will on the cell phone. When I talked to Will I was driving down the road in the car in traffic...and when I talked to the receptionist at the doc's office the kids were playing Guitar Hero in the next bedroom. I did have to ask her to repeat something once but that was about it. If I never have two ears working together well, I have one GREAT ear...and I should be profoundly grateful for that instead of whining over what I don't have. Pity party over...for now :).
Hubby decided that I needed to get some clothes on and get out of the house so last night he took me to Olive Garden for dinner and then we went to see the new Indiana Jones movie. Dinner was excellent and the movie was pretty good, although I have to admit that I don't do movies really well yet...all the sound effects make understanding voices difficult. However, I got enough to keep up pretty well and of course it was wonderful seeing Indy again (Harrison Ford never disappoints in any movie he's in, quite frankly!).
OK...enough...it's been a tiring week and it's late and I'm off to bed. I hope you all have an awesome weekend!! :)

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