Monday, October 16, 2006

My first mapping session...

went GREAT! :) I wasn't prepared for it to be so great, actually. When I first got there, Susan hooked me up to the computer, and off we went, playing the tones again. I couldn't believe they were the same ones we did last week (I asked her several times if they were the same ones, since they sounded so different!) Last week, all I "heard" was pounding vibrations inside my head. Only a couple of the tones sounded like anything, and they were very low and very robotic, like machinery. This week, none of them were "just" vibrations. They ALL had a sound, and some of them were downright purty :) Susan redid my "strategies" since I had them set too loud last week, and they were nearly intolerable. When she was done, I found a favorite and found to my delight that her voice, while still robotic, had a definite feminine tone to it. We set them at a comfortable sound level...what she asked me to do was to tell her when it was "balanced" with my right ear (basically, when it took over about half of my hearing, it seems like) then she set that for my middle (12 o'clock) level. I was happy to find out on the way home that I could listen to my CDs with it at that level (although they sounded terrible, it didn't hurt my head to listen to them like it did previously). I think what we needed was a chance to sit down and talk over what wasn't right and then try to fix it, and I'm happy with the results.
One major concern that I had was that I still have a lot of vibrations inside my head whenever I "hear" a sound. I've been really worried that I might perhaps be one of the few that just can't use a CI because of the vibrations. They have just really been uncomfortable. I talked to Susan about it and she said that she usually only saw that response in people that had been completely without hearing either all their lives or for many, many years. I asked her if it would get better, and she said that it nearly always went away with a little time. Now I can deal with it. I just needed to know that it would get better.
I am now convinced that I'm headed in the right direction. I have been seriously worried that things just weren't right, but after hearing those tones in my mapping session, I KNOW that my brain's gotten a lot accomplished this week! How incredible! That's all I needed to know...that my brain was working with this implant. Everything else will come in time. I got all the time in the world, now that I can see some results and know that I'm starting to do the "normal" thing (if there is such a thing in this business) and have the same chances as everyone else. I never would have thought it. God is good. I KNOW this.
You wanna know what else? I'm listening to Harry Potter on CD...and I'm not kidding you...it sounds incredible. No, I can't understand the words. But I feel like I'm right there. I feel that if I could turn the sound up, or sharpen it just a bit, I'd be able to hear the whole story. I know part of it is due to today's mapping session, since it didn't sound so hot last week. It's distorted and robotic sounding, but oh, it's almost. How freaky is that? If I could just turn it up without the jackhammers hammering away at my head, perhaps...
I saw a quote on one of the boards that I visited that I liked. Someone asked for permission to steal it, and it was given, so I'm stealing it too. It was:

"I have seen the light at the end of the tunnel, and it's not a train."

In other news, since there IS life beyond cochlear implants, although that's about all I can think of these days:

I bought me a new pair of Nike running shoes today. I tried on six or seven pairs of running shoes and manhandled every pair on the shelf under a hundred dollars before I finally found a pair that fit me comfortably. I may kill myself trying, but I really want to start running. I think that it would be great exercise and it would beat down some of my stress (I just don't handle it really well). I really wanted to give them a road test but the weather was NOT cooperating today. It was about 60 degrees and rainy all day. Maybe tomorrow will be dry and I can try them out then :)
I am getting a break from school...for a couple of days :) I don't have any assignments due until Wednesday, since we're on Fall Break. I am amusing myself with a huge stack of magazines and mail-order catalogs that I'm way behind on, and I finally got a chance to read my new cookbook last night. She also uses a little language that I'm not big on (WHY in a COOKBOOK?) but the recipes look terrific, and some of her stories are side-splitting.
I'm gonna get off here and make a grocery list. When it gets cold, I really don't mind cooking, but since I haven't cooked much lately, the cupboards are looking pitiful. So I see a trip to Wally World in my future...tomorrow! :)
I hope everyone's week is off to a great start! :)

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