Saturday, January 27, 2007

Mornin', all...

Wow, what a sleep...felt like Rip Van Winkle when I woke up this morning ;)I didn't go to sleep until nearly 2 AM Wednesday night/Thursday morning, then got up at 6:30 to get the girls off to school, and never got any more sleep. I felt pretty good yesterday, but apparently, when I'm tired, I'm tired :) I was going to watch Gray's Anatomy for the first time (I've never been a fan, but my sis-in-law Kim says it's a great show) but I conked out about halfway through it (the last time I looked at the clock, it was 8:30). I woke up and it was around 11:15 PM. I was afraid to stay awake too long, for fear that I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, so I just did the bare essentials...threw some PJs on, checked e-mail, checked on the kids, and was out like a light about 20 minutes later. I'm not going to say that I was wide awake and raring to go at 6:30 this morning (that just doesn't happen) but I didn't have as much trouble waking up as I usually do :) It's really unlike me to go to bed that early. I'm usually up until at least midnight...a lot of nights, even later than that.
I'm headed out to Vanderbilt for a implant tune-up in a couple of hours. I'm not looking forward to it. I do not like my implant. I know that sounds awful, after all the whining about not getting it fast enough, but I haven't bonded with it at all. I hate the way it feels. Not wearing it, per se...that's not the big issue (although keeping it on has been one...I think I'm getting the hang of that, though). I still "feel" the majority of my sounds, rather than "hear" them. I am kind of sensitive about the way things feel anyway (I'm all about comfort...comfortable shoes, clothes, etc) and this implant really, really rubs me the wrong way. I don't know how to describe it. Sounds just jar my whole head, rather than making any sense. It's a very uncomfortable feeling. The surgeon warned me that it might be this way, but we went into it hoping for the best. I know that if I were to really work with it, I could probably overcome it, but I dread putting it on every single time, without fail. I have thought seriously about just going ahead with the implant for the other ear. Once I can't hear at all, I will be forced to wear the implant I have now, or nothing, and if it still doesn't work, I have been told by the surgeon that he thinks I'll have much better luck in the "good" ear. I go back and forth. Part of me just wants to enjoy what I have left in this ear while I have it, but then again, what if I lose it all overnight (a very real possibility these days) and have to wait months and months to get it implanted? *sigh* I have about decided that I'm going to go ahead and start the insurance battle, anyhow. That should take a while. If that all goes as planned, perhaps I can have the surgery this summer...first of July or so...and be back in the saddle in time for the fall semester (I would definitely have to have a transcriptionist for my classes, though!!) Decisions, decisions. I would love input from anyone and everyone (even if you don't have any experience with implants, I would still love to hear your thoughts).
Hubby told me the other day that he doesn't mind if I take another trip this summer. This one will be to Oklahoma City :) The Hearing Loss of America Association has a convention every summer somewhere and that's where it is this year...third weekend in June, I think. I am hoping to meet my dear friend Tallahassee Lassie this year (if she isn't too sick...she is expecting a wee little one in September and is very, very unwell right now!!) I have talked to Laurie a little about it, and she is interested...I hope she can go, too...I love her dearly and would love to see her again!! I have never been around deaf people very much. I have met more deaf people in the past year than I have met my entire life (by far)! I think it would be a fun weekend, and I know I'd get a lot of information and support from others with cochlear implants. I might work on my sign language a little between now and then :) I plan to drive out there...I love having my car with me when I go somewhere new. It gives me a chance to get out and see the sights a little wherever I am!
I hope everyone's having a good weekend. I have been told that it's pretty cold just about everywhere...I hope y'all are staying warm!! Love to all...<3

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