Don't try this at home!

My eight-year old, Claire, asked me before I left for Chicago if I would eat lunch with her at school one day. I promised her that I would when I got home, so yesterday I kept my word. When I arrived at the school I was seated at the visitors' table, which coincidentally is the hooligan table...the table where the troublemakers sit. One particularly adorable little hooligan was sitting beside me and I kind of had my back to him, talking to Claire and her cousin Alexis, who were sitting across from me. Claire told me once, "I don't think they know you're deaf"...apparently, they were talking to me and I wasn't hearing them. So I turned around and the little one next to me had his shirt pulled up, navel exposed, in an effort to entertain me. I kinda rolled my eyes and turned back around. A few seconds later I felt a poke at my shoulder and turned around to find him waggling his tongue at me. I got out a half-hearted grin and turned back to the girls. Another poke a few seconds later, and he had his eyes rolled back in his head.
At this point I decided that action was called for...and I borrowed a clean fork from Claire and placed it against the side of my head...where it stuck. I had it at a bad angle and it fell off, but I had his attention. I tried it again, a little more balanced this time...and it stayed. His eyes grew to the size of saucers, and he said, "you must have a magnet in there!"
I affirmed that yes, I did...I didn't want him trying it at home, after all...and while I had the attention of the entire bunch I took the opportunity to explain how CIs worked and to teach them the "I Love You" sign (the little boy sitting next to Alexis promptly turned to her with stars in his eyes and flashed the sign like a pro). I told the little one next to me that he was sitting next to a bona fide cyborg, then told him that I needed to eat my lunch. I didn't hear another peep out of him for the rest of the meal...I think I won that contest hands down! ;)